Growing up, I was always the person with friends. I won Valedictorian in the most glaring of popularity contests in grade 8, and finished runner-up in grade 12 for the same prize after rocking the crowd with a rap.

But then in university, I struggled to adjust. I struggled navigating the landscape of a new world in a new environment. I struggled to find “my people.” That was weird. Everywhere else I’d been, my people were most people. They were never difficult to find. Eventually, I decided that I had an affinity for aloneness, and accepted that I liked being alone.

It wasn’t until my third year of university that I ran cross country and became a Residence Life Don, finally finding “my people.” Finally realizing how extraverted I had always been. Finally realizing that I don’t like being alone at all. I never liked being alone.

Since then, I’ve always made it my mission to spend time with the people I love. To make time for the friends that bring me joy and reciprocate that love. To make even more of an effort for groups of friends (it’s always more fun in groups). But to also have plenty of 1-on-1 time with those special enough. To ensure those people know how strongly I feel for them.

When I look back on my life, I know that this is what I’m going to remember.

I know this, because every time I reflect upon the year, my favourite memories are always the moments with friends. Often the moments that I spent with friends in groups. But sometimes even those spectacularly special moments of 1-on-1 time.

The past few months, I’ve been reflecting alongside Ali Abdaal in a weekly review of life. Questions include reflecting upon all the good that happened in the week, and three outcomes ahead of the next that would lead to a successful seven days.

Although the questions are so simple, this has been an illuminating process for me. Every single week, I find it fascinating to discover what actually matters to me. What I find worth noting in the review. I think it’s been illuminating in discovering who I want to prioritize, and what I want to prioritize in my life.

When reflecting upon what I’m grateful for, I constantly find myself speaking to specific experiences with specific people. I’ve noticed patterns. Patterns of who pops up in the reflections. It’s illuminating, as it allows me to understand who I want to prioritize. What experiences I want to prioritize.

Even when speaking to the week ahead and how I’m going to set myself up for success, I’m often reflecting about the same people.

Having this clear sense of focus ahead of the week better allows me to prioritize. It allows me to not become overwhelmed by everything on my calendar. Instead of stressing about all that’s to come and all that I haven’t done, I’m simply excited to accomplish the three missions I set out to do on my Sunday review. I’ve already said that if I accomplish those three things, that the week will be a successful week. So even though I work to accomplish far more beyond that, I always know the week is going to be successful if I just focus on those three most important things.

Whatever the process, I think it’s important for everyone to find some way of elucidating who they want to prioritize, and what they want to prioritize in their life. I do this through the ‘Core Four Theory’ I established in ‘How to identify where you want to go in life‘. This is where you settle on the top four aspects of your life worth dedicating the most attention to right now, and then put as much of your time into those four things as possible, working to cut out other distractions.

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But if you can then scuba dive deeper into that list, you can speak to specifics within each four that you want to accomplish on a week by week basis. This makes it easier to settle on your immediate priorities within the areas you’ve ascribed as important.

Famously, I have a ranking for everything. I even have a ranking of my favourite things about my life, and my favourite people in my life. It’s less important that the list is ranked, and more important that it’s simply named and present. Having this list, I can continuously reflect upon which people or things in my life I’m giving enough attention toward. Which I’m not giving enough attention to. For example, if my sister cracks the top five most important people in my life, she should be someone that I talk to at least on a weekly basis. But we don’t talk enough. I want to do better there. Recognizing this, I’m more likely to make a change for the better in my quest to live the life I want.

So if you haven’t already done so, I encourage you to think about the four areas of your life that you want to devote attention to right now. If one of those categories involves some combination of ‘Family’ or ‘Friends’, go deeper and identify who you want to prioritize within those categories. Chances are, you’ve been letting some of those relationships fall by the wayside. Recognizing this can help you to re-center and re-evaluate, ensuring that you’re spending enough time doing the things that you love with the people that you love.

If people aren’t one of those four areas of your life worth your attention right now, think about whether or not you’re focusing too much on chasing temporary ventures. Ventures that might not matter to you ten years from now. Think about if you’re neglecting the people in your life that deserve more.

When you look back on your life, you’re probably not going to be thinking about that fancy career or fancy business pursuit. Not at least, first. First, you’re going to think about the people that made your life special. It’s worth focusing your attention to those people right now. Right now in the present moment. You don’t want to look back on your life and wish that you spent more time with the people that you loved. With the people that loved you. You might as well start now. People should be a priority in your life. It’s time to make them a priority.

But who? That’s what you need to figure out.

Thanks for reading and see you soon!