In the vast majority of friendships I’ve held, I’ve always noticed a trend.

It doesn’t matter who it is. I always want to hear about the other person, rather than talk about myself. But unfortunately for me, they always feel the same. They’d always rather talk about me.

It’s almost annoying having to talk about ourselves. It’s so much easier to listen to the proud accomplishments of others.

But a problem always persists when I ask people even the simplest of questions. From ‘how are you?’ to ‘what’s going on?’.

Most people aren’t all that great at talking about themselves. Most people don’t want to talk about themselves at all, and you have to ask very pointed questions to even get anything of substance out. It’s why I actually hate the superficial questions we always ask each other, like “what’s new??”. No one ever has a sufficient answer.

We then fall into the same trap. If others don’t want to share, why should we?

It creates a cyclical process. One that only we can break; but only if we’re conscious about the fact that we need to be the one to be different and actually share something. If not, we will feel awkward about listing our own exciting adventures, feeling like we have to dial back the coolness in our lives.

This is a shame. Especially when I always find out the coolest things when others share. I feel closer to them. I feel like I know them differently than other people do. I feel drawn to them.

This raises an interesting question.

Why is it so difficult to talk about ourselves? Why do we hate sharing? Are we worried that others will judge us? Do we want to avoid the worst trait in the world – being a bragger? (Actually something underratedly valuable). Are we worried that they’ll feel some sort of resentment? Are we worried that they’ll judge us for what we like and desire?

It might be all of the above.

But I’m here to tell you – all of those mindsets are wrong. They’re all wrong mindsets to have. If you truly want to increase connections to the people in your life, you need to get comfortable sharing.

What brings us closer to someone else is not necessarily learning about them. It’s having them learn about you. We feel closer to someone when we can tell them our deepest, darkest secrets. The kinds of things we wouldn’t tell anyone else.

But what if we weren’t afraid to tell anything to anyone? What if we lived our lives never afraid to speak about our accomplishments? About our wishes, wants and desires. Wouldn’t everyone feel closer to us? Wouldn’t everyone feel like they can be our friend?

Herein lies the beauty of sharing.

Sharing is not always for us. It’s for other people.

Sharing allows others to feel closer to us. It invites others to be part of our lives. To be part of our story. To feel like they’re being trusted with top-secret information that only they know. Nothing could ever make anyone feel more special than knowing top-secret information only they know.

Any time you share something about yourself, you’re being vulnerable. You’re inviting someone into your world. That’s scary. But it’s also something that will always strengthen the bond and deepen the connection.

Believe me – this hasn’t always been something I’ve felt comfortable doing. Growing up, I never wanted to share anything about my life. Especially with my parents. Famously, I didn’t even admit that I had female friends until grade 11.

The moments that always brought me closer to my dad were when I actually shared about my life. When I told him who I wanted to take to prom. When I told him about that random mom that yelled at me at work for no reason. When he helped me find my lost Ipod. When I actually shared about myself, I became closer to my parents. When I kept all the secrets from them, I grew further away from them.

So while it might be daunting; while we might fear how others might respond, sharing is one of the most powerful tools you can possess. Sharing is caring, and it’s something that we could all do more. In doing so, we will allow everyone we love to feel closer to us.

Thanks for reading and see you soon!