If I’ve been reminded of any piece of advice this year, it’s to live in the present.

They say – take one step at a time. One day at a time. Let go of the past. Use the future only to help guide and propel you. Not to consume you.

You don’t need me to tell you how difficult it can be to truly live in the present. I bet you’ve thought about the uncertain future that lies ahead, or the negatives that you thought you left behind every single day this week. I have too.

It’s one thing to say that the past is in the past. It’s another to fully embody that frame of mind and that state of being.

While it can be an occasionally helpful frame, the past doesn’t matter. What matters is you, and what you are choosing to do in the present.

INSPIRED BY ASKING FOR A FRIEND

I frequently use fortune telling’s of the future to guide what to do in the present. But truthfully, we can never fully predict what will happen.

Attempting to utilize the future to inform the present is ultimately a misguided approach. Instead of the future, lessons from the past, and the specific context of the present, are what truly matter.

The future, as it hasn’t happened yet, tells you very little, even if you have specific events listed on the calendar. What matters more is how you learn from the past to inform the present, without ever getting stuck in dwelling on the past.

This year, even in saying that I’ve done a better job focusing on the present, I’m still persistently consumed with feelings and fears boiling over from the past.

Over and over this year, I’ve let the negative people in my life take up far too much headspace. Instead of sleeping peacefully, I’ve dreamt of them wronging me in the exact same ways they did. Instead of continuing to move forward, I’ve worried about their ability to continue to burn my relationships back home.

But evidently, I need to let go. I need to remember all the positive people in my present that bring me joy and value, and forget about the bad. Those people and places simply don’t belong in my life anymore.

I don’t want to go back, so why do I keep reliving those moments?

Perhaps it’s because I haven’t fully wrestled with my own choices across that time period. I haven’t yet smacked them down into the ground.

Much of my writing since April has probably given my brain license to blame, without accepting the wrongdoings on my behalf. In my own state of emotional dysregulation, I made mistakes that I am not proud of, including losing friends like PB, and accidentally sidelining myself from the sport I love throughout the year. The damage done in that time can’t be repaired and I can’t apologize in ways that would allow for a fresh restart.

But what I can do is focus on improving myself, getting better in the ways that I need to, and look not only to 2025 as a starting place for improvement, but to the present moment as a lens into the person that I want to be.

To stop living in the past. To stop blaming people and places for my mental health struggles throughout the year. But to actually take ownership of my health all on my own, and focus on getting better.

The past is in the past, it isn’t meant to last.
– Asking for a Friend, CHRVCHES

If I don’t stop that negative nelly train now, it will continue to follow me down. I have to try, as it’s the art of getting by.

I can’t worry about what might change in the future against my own wishes. I just have to focus on who I want to be when it comes time for that.

That starts with who I am right now in the present, rather than some arbitrary, idealist view of myself in the future.

If the past is in the past, and it no longer matters, I need to remember that I still matter. That distant path or distant future matters very little. What matters is the present me, and there is still much in the way to focus on within that present self. Still much in the way of positive, and still much that even if seemingly negative can continue to be reframed.

I can say with certainty that those people and places I’ve referenced ever so vaguely do not matter any longer. But I do, and many other positive people and places do. That’s what I will endeavour to focus on for both the present, and as 2024 comes to a close, and new beginnings emerge.

Thanks for reading and see you soon.

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