Things aren’t nice in paradise

If we could turn the hands of time, I would do it. We had everything, but we never knew it. Things aren’t nice out here in paradise, so baby leave the light on.

– Robinson

New Zealand-born singer Robinson is one of my favourite musical talents on the planet, largely for creating lyrics with actual meaning, behind her vocal power.

Dropped by her record label last year, she even started writing songs lambasting the music industry and the lack of freedom it posed upon her.

One of my favourites from her is called Things Aren’t Nice In Paradise, which plays on the classic tale of how time moves fast. Too damn fast.

More specifically, how the route we see for ourselves might not always be all that it’s made out to be.

Like with Robinson and her navigation of the music industry, the ‘paradise’ that we imagine isn’t always all that it seems.

And even if we can achieve our wildest dreams and clearest of visions, it’s not as though all of our problems will suddenly be solved.

Problems exist everywhere we go.

It’s sad, I know. But we will encounter problems at every stage of our lives.

With this awareness, we then need to understand how to engineer our problems into ones that are less problematic. Perhaps even, problems that we actually enjoy solving. Better problems.

I’m sure there are ways to do this. Taking deep breaths and telling ourselves that everything will be okay might be a simple one. Asking our 80-year-old-self what they’d think of the situation might be even better.

At 80, I imagine myself looking back at this chapter of life like a blimp in time. I might even do so at 38. So why treat my problems so seriously right now?

I’m sure there are, in fact, many ways to make our problems seem oh so insignificant. And I’m sure that’ll be a topic for a wiser version of Rhys.

But for now, I want to simply illustrate how silly it is to think that life could ever be without those daily challenges.

Even if we can’t make better problems for ourselves, we can, at the very least, remember that eliminating all of our problems (such as by leaving a job and finding a new one) will only ever create new ones.

When you work on a Rubik’s Cube (and you have no idea what you’re doing), each move you make only causes a new dilemma to solve. A new twist and turn to the tale.

It’s a bad analogy, because you can undoubtedly find all the formulas for solving a Rubik’s Cube in ten seconds. You cannot do so with the formulas for life.

But for those of us who don’t know the formulas yet, each move we make might not actually get us closer to goal. Actually, some of the moves we make might get us further away. Either way, we’re always creating new problems to solve.

And that’s part of the fun to solving the Rubik’s Cube (I’m sure, for those that are into that kind of thing).

A life without problems probably wouldn’t be all that interesting. You’d certainly have fewer stories to tell. Less to overcome. Less to work for.

Not to bore you with a linguistic lesson, but so many synonyms for ‘problem’ actually sound kind of fun.

Who doesn’t want to leap over a hurdle? Quandary sounds like what kings and queens say to each other! Challenges, dilemmas and obstacles are all associated with peak performance, winning, and doing your darndest.

Problems aren’t all that bad, especially as a continuous growth opportunity, as cliché as that might be.

The best athletes and sports teams are usually the very best at solving problems; and they become the darndest because they solve them way quicker than their opponent.

So problems = good? A continuous opportunity for growth?

No, I don’t think so. Problems suck! They really do. And I think it’s impossible to convince someone that their problems are good in the moment.

But most people will eventually come to admit that their most difficult dilemmas made them who they are.

So why not try that oldest trick in the book right now?

And this is what I try to remind myself every time I think about the difficulties of the present moment. That actually, I’d be bored and unmotivated living a life completely on my own terms, with no external factors challenging me to constantly be at my best.

That my current problems will eventually be used as some sort of story in an interview, if not a more profound moment in time making me unconsciously wiser and stronger.

To try and escape problems altogether would then be a pointless pursuit.

I spoke about this in an article called ‘The crystal ball is cracked‘, inspired by Katie Pruitt’s Phases of the Moon.

This idealistic view of everything being perfect once ‘X’ happens (for example once I have my dream job) is completely unrealistic.

I’ve had my dream job four times, in four different dream jobs, and each time ended up leaving in pursuit of something grander.

Each time, I made the decision to leave in pursuit of what I perceived to be a better path. A path that I thought would do away with the specific problems associated with the present.

And I know we’re all tired of hearing this cliché: The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

BUT WHAT IF IT IS?! I always want to scream.

You see, sometimes that green grass is grinchier. The grass literally might be greener.

But even if the grass is greener, it doesn’t mean that it’s always perfectly cut. Problems are going to exist everywhere you go. There’s always going to be something to work toward in your next venture. Something that deeply challenges you. Something that you’ve never experienced before. I’ve worked with kids for over ten years now. Something new happens every single day.

No one wants perfect anyway. Or at least, I don’t. Being imperfect is a far better recipe toward ‘perfection’.

“Happiness is a moment, flickering like a light. Comes and goes like a shadow. And it’s driving me wild.”

– Robinson

Perfect isn’t all its made out to be. Paradise, or the greener grass aren’t either. There will always be problems. As of yet, I haven’t made any grand discoveries as to how to make my problems better, more tolerable or something that won’t consume my mind every single day.

But at the very least, I can live with the awareness that if I do make changes once more and seek new ventures, it’s not like I’ll be eliminating problems for good. I’ll just be creating new ones.

And for that matter, paradise really isn’t all that nice anyway, so you better leave the light on.

Thanks for reading and see you soon.