A week ago today, I left for Oregon. My first trip to the States since university. My first trip alone. My first trail race outside of Ontario.

It should have been a wonderful adventure full of fun and excitement. But the entire time, I couldn’t help but wonder: Why am I doing this?

I love my life. I really love my life. Missing out on that life even for a day felt like too much. It felt like something that I would have only wanted to do, if I could have brought my life with me. If I could have continued to live my life in the exact same way, while also visiting the beauty of Northern Oregon.

Many of my articles over the past few months have had this same common theme. Identify where you want to spend your time, and put your eggs into that basket in spending your time on those areas of your life.

In our pursuit of the future we want or even the idealized lifestyles others around us want to live, we fail to recognize that our current lives are way cooler than we even know. Not recognizing this in the past is why I made the wrong decision in leaving a job I loved.

We’re always chasing what’s next. We’re always chasing the greener grass on the other side even though we know it’s not always greener on the other side. Sometimes we forget to remember that our lives are actually pretty great already.

Moments like travelling alone to a different country can give space to allow you to reflect on where you really want to be and what’s really important in your life. So I think in many ways, this recognition was great.

I realized that I don’t want to make another five-day trip away from my life again any time soon. Especially not without sharing the experience with someone else. It’s great to know this, so I can do a better job planning my calendar around what I truly enjoy.

But at the same time, I also need to be careful.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m unable to live in the present moment.

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In reality, I have less of a problem living in the present when I’m with my favourite people. When I’m working with kids. When I’m running on the technical rocky trails Ontario has to offer. Even when I’m teaching, coaching, leading programs, etc. But if it’s not something that I truly feel inspired to do, I find myself wanting to return to one of the items listed above. One of my ‘Core Four’.

Ultimately, it might not be productive to love my life so much that anything outside of normalcy feels like something I’d rather escape from than continue. I should probably be able to experience the wonders of the world without feeling like I’d rather be somewhere else.

But at the same time, I know where I want to be. I know where I want to spend my time. Who I want to spend my time with.

Time is precious. Why waste it? Why waste it on things and people that are not worth your time?

Maybe I’ll shut down opportunities too quickly. Maybe I’ll struggle to truly enjoy the wonders of a once in a lifetime travel experience. But I know where I want to be, and I think that’s valuable to know too.

Sometimes I need to remind myself that the things that I love and the people that I love will still be there when I get back. They’re not going anywhere. But at the same time, I also need to remind myself that this is where I want to be, and that there’s nothing wrong with the comfort of normalcy. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and the present moments are most valuable when spent on the people and tasks that you enjoy most.

Thanks for reading and see you soon!